Wonderful World of Disney: Little House on the Prairie (ABC, 8 p.m. ET)
Miniseries Premiere. Two Hours. Given the success of the classic "Little House" television series of the '70s and its current popularity on DVD, one would think this new production on ABC would be generating some
kind of buzz. But take a listen. There isn't even a low hum. ABC is quick to point out that this new version -- which begins with a two-hour opener tonight and continues with one-hour episodes on each of the next
four Saturday nights -- is not based on the previous show. Instead, it recreates stories from the beloved autobiographical books by Laura Ingalls Wilder with what the network calls "painstaking accuracy." With its decision to schedule this new production on Saturday, ABC is either trying to
recapture some of the ratings glory CBS enjoyed on that night in the '90s with "Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman" or burying this project on the lowest-rated night of the week safely outside of any sweeps periods. If
this "Little House" is a success it will be one of the major television programming stories of the year and give the television press much to write about in the weeks to come. Cameron Bancroft (recently
seen as a CTU operative on Fox' "24") stars as Charles Ingalls, the character made famous by Michael Landon in the original series.
Alien Apocalypse (Sci Fi Channel, 9 p.m. ET)
Premiere. Talk about coming home from work to a whole new set of problems. In Sci Fi's latest cheesy Saturday night popcorn
movie, a team of deep space explorers returns to Earth and discovers that aliens have enslaved the entire human race. Don't you hate when that happens? Horror-camp fans take note: The star of this flick is Bruce
Campbell of the "Evil Dead" movies. Cult television series fans take note: Campbell also starred in Fox' funky 1993 western "The Adventures of Briscoe County Jr."
James Patterson's 'Suzanne's Diary for Nicholas' (CBS, 9 p.m. ET)
Premiere. In a total 360 from last Sunday's CBS movie -- that would be "Spring Break Shark Attack" -- the network returns to more familiar territory with this drama of great internal emotional turmoil. Based
on James Patterson's New York Times bestseller, it's the story of a New York City book editor and a successful author who fall in love and begin a relationship that cannot endure, for reasons revealed in a
diary written by the author's wife to their young son. Real-life husband and wife Johnathon Schaech and Christina Applegate -- two actors not previously known for their dramatic work -- star as the author and his wife.
Desperate Housewives (ABC, 9 p.m. ET)
At last! After an unconscionable five-week lapse, ABC presents an original episode of "Desperate Housewives." To mark
the occasion, Sharon Lawrence returns as Maisy Gibbons, the monster mother who once made Lynette's life miserable and was later revealed to be the dominatrix of choice for Bree's husband Rex.
Grey's Anatomy (ABC, 10 p.m. ET)
Series Premiere. ABC's new medical drama about first-year surgical interns at a Seattle hospital isn't as distinctive as
Fox' "House," but it's rewarding in its own amiable way and deserves a chance to build an audience. The network is certainly providing it with one, parking it in the plum time spot after "Desperate Housewives." The
extremely appealing cast includes Ellen Pompeo, Patrick Dempsey, Sandra Oh, T.R. Knight, Katherine Heigl and Justin Chambers.
Carnivale (HBO, 10 p.m. ET)
Season Finale. If you've been following HBO's complex supernatural drama then you won't want to miss its second season finale tonight. If you haven't, then it is likely too late to jump in and try to make
sense of the bizarre goings-on. Even viewers who have remained faithful to this show since its 2004 premiere can't quite explain its puzzling storylines, though many claim to be enjoying the journey. If you're up to the
challenge, start with the season one DVD and go from there.
MONDAY, MARCH 28
Everybody Loves Raymond (CBS, 9 p.m. ET)
CBS a few weeks back conducted an online poll asking viewers to name their five favorite episodes from this series' nine-year run. Those
episodes have been airing recently as part of the buildup to the show's grand finale on May 16. The episode telecast tonight was
selected as viewers' all-time favorite. Any guesses?
The Bachelor (ABC, 9 p.m. ET)
Season Premiere. Two Hours. ABC tries to pump new life into its fading reality romance franchise by casting minor celebrity Charlie O'Connell as the single guy looking for love and rose recipients. You know
him as the brother of "Crossing Jordan" star Jerry O'Connell and from his supporting work opposite Ashton Kutcher, Seann William Scott, Jennifer Garner and Hal Sparks in "Dude, Where's My Car?"
Conquest of America (History Channel, 9 p.m. ET)
Premiere. The exploration and conquests of four different regions of North America, beginning in the mid-1500s and
continuing through the mid-1800s, and the men who undertook those expeditions, are the subjects of this four part documentary series. Part 1, at 9 p.m. ET, follows Mexican governor Francesco Vasquez de
Coronado's 7000-mile trek through the southwest. Part 2, at 10 p.m. ET, is about the establishment of a French colony in what is now Florida. Parts 3 and 4 will be telecast on Tuesday, March 29, from 9-11 p.m. ET.
Trippin' (MTV, 10:30 p.m. ET)
Series Premiere. Cameron Diaz and her celebrity friends descend on exotic and often endangered locales in far away places and look for ways to preserve them in this ten-part MTV series. God forbid legions
of young MTV viewers stampede off to these breathtakingly beautiful locations to bike, hike and party after watching Diaz's show.
TUESDAY, MARCH 29
Invasion Iowa (Spike TV, 9 p.m. ET)
Miniseries Premiere. Spike TV pulls an extended punk of epic proportions in this four-night high-concept reality series that concludes, appropriately enough, on Friday, April 1. William Shatner and a crew of faux
actors and filmmakers descend on the small town of Riverside, Iowa, and pretend to film an independent science fiction movie, all the while capturing the reactions of unsuspecting "ordinary people" to the Hollywood
suck-upping, back-stabbing, enabling, ego-stroking and tantrum throwing that plays out before them. There's even a fake spiritual advisor referred to as a "Bill Whisperer" because he has the unique ability to calm the
combustive Shatner simply by whispering in his ear. (The words he whispers are not "Denny Crane.") Riverside, incidentally, has for 20 years been the site of an annual "Star Trek" festival, because in the "Star Trek" franchise it is identified as the birthplace of Shatner's legendary Captain James T.
Kirk. "Invasion Iowa" continues with one-hour installments on March 30 and 31 at 9 p.m. ET. The two-hour finale begins Friday, April 1 at 9 p.m. ET.
Conquest of America (History Channel, 9 p.m. ET)
The remaining chapters of The History Channel's four-part documentary series about the exploration and conquests of four different regions of North America are telecast tonight. In Part 3, at 9 p.m. ET, adventurer
Henry Hudson fails in his quests to find a northern passage to Asia but in 1610 discovers the river that will bear his name, leading to the establishment in 1624 of a Dutch colony known as New Netherlands at the
end of the river that will one day become New York City. In Part 4, at 10 p.m. ET, Danish sea captain Vitus Bering discovers Alaska and the Pacific Northwest becomes a focal point for Spain, England and Russia.
I Want a Famous Face (MTV, 10 p.m. ET)
Season Premiere. Should we be alarmed that the MTV documentary series in which young people have various body parts surgically altered in an effort to resemble their favorite celebrities proved so popular
that it is back for a second season? Or that there are so many young people out there who are willing to be carved up for said reason that MTV was able to put together a second run of this show? Tonight meet
Brandi, a young woman who wants to be more like Carmen Electra. (Now there's a life goal.) In the weeks ahead one young woman will seek to more closely resemble Tiffani-Amber Thissen, a young man will have
his "man-boobs" lipo-sucked as he crafts his body in the image of Arnold Schwarzenegger and a transsexual porn star-turned-adult film producer will go under the knife for that Pamela Andersen look.
WEDNESDAY, MARCH 30
Lost (ABC, 8 p.m. ET)
What's in store for our perplexed castaways tonight? Who cares? This is the first original episode of "Lost" since March 2. Be there.
Conquerors (History Channel, 9 p.m. ET)
Series Premiere. The History Channel kicks off its new series about military commanders who changed the world with two special telecasts tonight and tomorrow at 9 p.m. ET. Tonight's episode focuses on
William the Conqueror, who solidified rule of Northern France and then mounted an invasion of England in 1066, establishing an empire in the latter that continues to this day. Thursday night's episode chronicles the
defeat of General George Washington by General William Howe of England at the Battle of Long Island in August 1776. "Conquerors"
settles into its regular Sunday night time period on April 3 at 10 p.m. ET.
Newlyweds: Nick and Jessica (MTV, 10 p.m. ET)
Season Finale. This could be the series finale for MTV's still amusing reality series about the personal and professional
exploits of Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey, given Jessica's interest in a movie career (this series documented her work in the upcoming feature film version of the classic series "Dukes of Hazzard") and
Nick's decision to star in a new MTV reality series of his own about the development and production of his upcoming solo CD. That show is scheduled to begin in April. Meantime, we hate to see this one end.
Eyes (ABC, 10:02 p.m. ET)
Series Premiere. Tim Daly stars as Harlan Judd, the supremely confident owner and chief operative at a high-tech private investigation firm. At first pass this may sound like a run-of-the-mill spy drama, but it's
filled with interesting characters, each with an agenda or surprising secret -- and tonight's debut episode ends with a shocking scene that suggests an unpredictable thrill ride to come. Garcelle Beauvais-Nilon
("NYPD Blue"), Laura Leighton ("Melrose Place") and Eric Mabius ("The L Word") co-star.
THURSDAY, MARCH 31
America Undercover: Left of the Dial (HBO, 8 p.m. ET)
Premiere. March 31 marks the first anniversary of Air America Radio, the liberal radio network launched as an alternative to powerful and influential conservative talk radio programming. HBO recognizes
the occasion with an "America Undercover" documentary that chronicles the start up of this costly and ambitious project during a tumultuous election year, including the ongoing problems with financing that
plagued Air America and generated negative publicity for it throughout 2004.
FRIDAY, APRIL 1
Invasion Iowa (Spike TV, 9 p.m. ET)
Miniseries Finale. Two Hours. William Shatner to the residents of Riverside, Iowa: "You've been punk'd!" Big time! See
listing for Tuesday, March 29 for more show details.
Battlestar Galactica (Sci Fi Channel, 10 p.m. ET)
Season Finale. The escalating tensions between Commander Adama and President Roslin reach the boiling point as Adama
orders Roslin's arrest and Starbuck finds the fabled Arrow of Apollo in the first season finale.
