Cops (Fox, 8 p.m. ET)
The longest running reality series on broadcast television marks its 600th episode tonight at 8 p.m. ET and Fox will honor the occasion by running three additional first-run episodes from 8:30-10 p.m. ET. Yes,
that's two hours of drunken disturbances, arguing spouses, dangerous chases and unpleasant arrests. If you don't appreciate the garbage most police officers put up with in the line of duty you will after sampling
this show. "Cops" -- generally a time period winner among adults 18-49 -- will return in September for its 18th season.
Warm Springs (HBO, 8 p.m. ET)
Premiere. Kenneth Branaugh and Cynthia Nixon star in the story of Franklin Delano Roosevelt's early struggle with polio, beginning with his diagnosis in 1921 at age 39, before he became governor of New York. His
desperate search for treatment led him in 1924 to a run-down inn in the backwoods of Georgia known for its soothing hot springs -- the very place where, many years later, Roosevelt died during the 13th year of his presidency. "Warm Springs" also details the tireless efforts of Eleanor Roosevelt
during those early years to propel her husband ever higher in the political arena despite the ravages of his medical crisis. Jane Alexander and Kathy Bates co-star.
Man-Thing (Sci Fi Channel, 9 p.m. ET)
Premiere. The Man-Thing joins the X-Men, Spiderman, the Hulk, Daredevil, the Punisher and the Fantastic Four on the growing
list of classic Marvel heroes and monsters featured in their own movies. Of course, this is a low budget direct to basic cable movie, rather than a big-budget Hollywood extravaganza, so keep your expectations
in check. Not to be confused with D.C. Comics' Swamp Thing, Marvel's Man-Thing is (or was) a scientist named Ted Sallis who injected himself with a secret serum to keep it from falling into criminal hands, then was
shot and left to die in a Florida swamp in an area that happened to be a mystical nexus of some kind. Sallis did indeed die, but the serum in his blood, the mystical influences in the region and the muck in the swamp excitingly transformed his remains into a walking mass of swamp matter that was home to Sallis' soul, but not his mind. Got that? The monster that had been Sallis responds with
creepy intensity to the emotions of the humans around him, his skin secreting deadly acid whenever he senses fear. Hence the catchphrase that has stuck with this character since its debut in 1971: "Whatever knows fear
burns at the Man-Thing's touch!" In this story, the Man-Thing comes between an arrogant oil tycoon and the Seminole Indians he attempts to forcibly remove from the swamp.
SUNDAY, MAY 1
Fox' Animation Domination (Fox, 7 p.m. ET)
It's a night of major milestones on Fox, including the 350th episode of "The Simpsons," the longest running animated primetime series in history, currently in its 16th season, and the return of "Family Guy," the only
television series ever brought back to life -- in this case three years after its official cancellation -- because of its second-wave success on basic cable and DVD. There's also the premiere of a new animated series, "American Dad," from "Family Guy" creator Seth MacFarlane. Fox tonight devotes five
of its six half-hours to animated fare, with an original episode of "King of the Hill" at 7 p.m. ET, the 350th episode of "The Simpsons" at 8 p.m. ET, a second original episode of "The Simpsons" at 8:30 p.m. ET, "Family Guy" at 9 p.m. ET and "American Dad" at 9:30 p.m. ET. "Malcolm in the Middle," the
lone live-action series in the mix, but one equally animated in its own weird way, slips in at 7:30 p.m. ET.
Cold Case (CBS, 8 p.m. ET)
Check this out: Original "Rocky Horror Picture Show" star Barry Bostwick guests in a story about the unsolved 1977 death of a man
who had attended a midnight screening of that cheesy cult classic.
Riding the Bus with My Sister (CBS, 9 p.m. ET)
Premiere. After stints as a talk show host, magazine editor and Broadway producer, Rosie O'Donnell has decided to focus once again on stand-up comedy and acting, or so she told Jay Leno Wednesday on NBC's
"Tonight Show." She'll be seen in three episodes of Showtime's "Queer as Folk" when it returns for its fifth and final season in late May. But first there's this Hallmark Hall of Fame production in which she portrays Beth, a mentally challenged woman who spends her days doing her favorite thing: riding city
buses and getting to know the passengers. Andie McDowell co-stars as her sister, a successful New York City photographer who reluctantly assumes care of Beth after the death of their father but quickly learns that her sister has created a nice life for herself. Directed by Anjelica Huston. Based on the
book by Rachel Simon, the woman portrayed by McDowell in the film.
Entourage (HBO, 10 p.m. ET)
Two episodes. Prior to the debut of its second season this summer, HBO tonight begins repeating the eight episodes from the first season of this acclaimed single-camera comedy. Based on rapper turned actor Mark
Wahlberg's early years in Hollywood, when he kept his Boston posse by his side, "Entourage" savagely skewers contemporary Hollywood, and the ugly truths it consistently exposes are almost always riotously funny. Wahlberg is a creator and executive producer and makes a brief
cameo in the premiere episode. Adrien Grenier and Jeremy Piven star.
See Michelle Dessler & other "24" characters who attended the A&E UPfront Party
MONDAY, MAY 2
24 (Fox, 9 p.m. ET)
If you weren't cheering at the end of last week's episode when snarling computer geek Chloe went all Terminator on that Marwan operative and filled him with lead then you may be beyond reach. Fox thought
the destruction of Air Force One was a big deal a few weeks ago but, damn, Action Chloe had to be the best sequence of the season. The escalating sexual tension between Chloe and Edgar is pretty wild, too.
Two and a Half Men (CBS, 9:30 p.m. ET)
Fresh off her unforgettable two-year run as murderous mobster Faith Rosco on ABC's "General Hospital," the supremely talented Cynthia
Preston guest stars as a widow on the receiving end of Charlie's lustful longings. One of the networks should offer this woman a prime time gig fast.
TUESDAY, MAY 3
American Idol (Fox, 8 p.m. ET)
Live. What was more shocking about last Wednesday's "Idol" results show? Learning that fan favorite Constantine -- arguably the
most talented and personable "Idol" contestant this season -- had been cut? Learning that the increasingly annoying Scott had been among the top three vote getters? Or watching Paula dissolve into tears as
Constantine sang his farewell song?
Law & Order: Special Victims Unit (NBC, 9 p.m. ET)
Angela Lansbury begins a startling guest role in this two-part crossover story that concludes with a special edition of "Law & Order: Trial By Jury" at 10 p.m. ET. She plays the wealthy mother of a man
suspected in a series of rapes of illegal immigrant women. Bradley Cooper ("Alias," "Jack & Bobby") and Alfred Molina also guest star. Bebe Neuwirth appears as A.D.A. Tracy Kibre.
Judging Amy (CBS, 10 p.m. ET)
Season Finale. A disillusioned Amy resigns and considers running for a Senate seat in the sixth season finale. We may never know the outcome of her soul-searching, because "Judging Amy" has lost ground in the
ratings this season and could be facing cancellation. Here's hoping CBS brings it back for a seventh and final season and gives this show a chance to bow
out gracefully, "NYPD Blue" style. Stars Amy Brenneman and Tyne Daly deserve that shot.
Law & Order: Trial By Jury (NBC, 10 p.m. ET)
A.D.A. Tracy Kibre teams with Detectives Elliot Stabler and Olivia Benson to prosecute a serial rapist in the conclusion of a two-part cross-over that began on "Law & Order: Special Victims Unit" earlier this evening.
Angela Lansbury portrays the rapist's wealthy and protective mother. Alfred Molina, Bradley Cooper, Rita Moreno and Larry King guest star.
WEDNESDAY, MAY 4
Lost (ABC, 8 p.m. ET)
At last! We finally get to watch the islanders react to Boone's untimely death. Network promos suggest that Locke
will suffer a grievous injury in the process.
Primetime Live: Fallen Idol (ABC, 10 p.m. ET)
According to reports, the legal threats are flying fast and furious between Fox, ABC and representatives for "American Idol" judge Paula
Abdul and disgraced second season contestant turned author Corey Clark over the content of this show, which ABC asserts will reveal shocking behind the scenes secrets about "Idol" and leave viewers unable to
watch the Fox phenomenon "the same way again." Could anything in this hour be more upsetting than last Wednesday's "Idol" results
show, when Scott landed in the top-three and Constantine got kicked to the curb? Not likely.
THURSDAY, MAY 5
ER (NBC, 9:59 p.m. ET)
We've always thought Dr. Morris (Scott Grimes) was a jackass, but what do we know? Tonight he is appointed the new chief resident. Meantime, Dr. Lewis (Sherry Stringfield) reacts to the news that she isn't
being tenured. Is that any way to treat the one character from the show's first season that will still be on its canvas after Noah Wyle's Dr. John Carter departs in a couple of weeks?
FRIDAY, MAY 6
Third Watch (NBC, 9 p.m. ET)
Series Finale. After six action-packed seasons "Third Watch" draws to a close with our heroes under attack once again -- this time
right in their own precinct station as it is stormed by a murderous gang. And speaking of violence against heroes, that was the overriding problem with this show, which was never more than a modest success: There were
way too many stories in which police officers, firemen and emergency workers the audience cared about died horrible deaths or sustained terrible injuries. Was that any way to treat New York's bravest and finest? Reportedly there is more death in store tonight. If executives at Warner Bros. and NBC were
smart, they would spin off Tia Texada's character, Sgt. Maritza Cruz, and let this dazzling woman continue to kick butt in prime time. Former series regulars Eddie Cibrian, Michael Beach and Kim Raver return for this
farewell, along with recurring player Aidan Quinn.
SOUND OFF RESPONSES FROM OUR READERS
Joy writes:
Good Morning Ed!
Enjoyed your column today. I always TIVO many of your suggestions. I laughed at the outrage of Constantine
getting the boot on American Idol. He was such comic relief. I honestly don't know anyone who didn't scoff at his pouts and "I make love to the
camera" stare. Creepy, but funny. We'll miss him only because of his ability to make us laugh, not for his flat notes and Vegas like act. Just
an opinion, but one that's widely held!
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