Little People (TLC, 8 p.m. ET)
TLC is running two original episodes every Saturday night of its engaging new reality series about Matt and Amy Roloff, two little people (both four feet tall) with four children of varying heights. In the first half
of tonight's double bill, Matt and Amy are too stressed out about their jobs and careers to enjoy their 18th wedding anniversary. In the second, Matt takes his twin teenage sons -- little person Zach and Jeremy, a boy of average height -- on a weekend camping trip, during which Zach grows increasingly frustrated with the difficulty he has performing certain tasks that come so easily to his brother.
Saturday Night Live (NBC, 11:30 p.m. ET)
Live. Academy Award nominee Matt
Dillon (Crash) is the host with musical guest Arctic Monkeys.
Mutual of Omaha's Wild Kingdom (Animal Planet, 7 p.m. ET)
Season Premiere. There is a soft spot in every baby boomer's heart for this series, for decades a Sunday night staple in
the 7 p.m. time period. It's fourth season on Animal Planet begins with A Man Among Orcas, in which filmmaker David Reichart explores the relationships among the killer whales, elephant seals and king penguins that inhabit the Crozet Islands off the coast of South Africa.
Freediver (Animal Planet, 8 p.m. ET)
Premiere. Freediver Tanya Streeter, who can hold her breath for over six minutes and has broken nine world freediving records (that would be diving without cumbersome breathing equipment), is shown swimming
underwater with whales, sharks, turtles, marine iguanas, sea turtles, penguins, manatees and other aquatic animals in locations as diverse as Belize, the Dominican Republic and the Galapagos Archipelago. Watch and take note of the way these different animals interact with Streeter, simply because she isn't wearing standard diving equipment.
Blackbeard: Terror at Sea (National Geographic Channel, 8 p.m. ET)
Premiere. James Purefoy (HBO's Rome) stars in this documentary filled with dramatic recreations of the life and times of the legendary pirate Blackbeard, who was known to light smoking fuses under
his large hat simply to intimidate his intended victims. As depicted in this production, Blackbeard terrorized travelers along Caribbean trade routes and plundered more than forty vessels from 1716 to 1718, then "retired" to Bath Town, North Carolina, where he formed a suspicious alliance with Gov. Charles Eden.
Grand Ole Opry at Carnegie Hall (GAC, 8 p.m. ET)
Premiere. Taped last November at Carnegie Hall during the weeklong Country Music Association Awards celebration in New York City, this all-star concert features performances by host Vince Gill,
Alison Krauss & Union Station, Martina McBride, Alan Jackson, Trisha Yearwood, Brad Paisley, Lil Jimmy Dickens, Ricky Skaggs and Charlie Pride. For the grand finale, all of the artists gather on stage to sing Will the Circle be Unbroken, I'll Fly Away and I Saw the Light.
Anything to Win (GSN, 8 p.m. ET)
GSN's documentary series about famous and ambitious competitors and the successes and scandals that defined them moves to a new night with an edition featuring figure skater-turned-boxer Tonya Harding. She
speaks with great candor about the 1994 assault on Nancy Kerrigan during the 1994 Olympic trials that would change Harding's life for the worse. Harding was on ABC's Good Morning America last week to promote this show, and during an interview with Charlie Gibson she noted the fact that, contrary to popular belief, she never personally attacked Kerrigan. The melodrama of it all is explored in greater detail here.
The Sopranos (HBO, 9 p.m. ET)
Season Premiere. After an absence of two years, The Sopranos comes roaring back with a sizzling hour of dramatic television. Five minutes in it feels as if no time has passed. Forty-five minutes in the
show takes an explosive turn that will leave you breathless. You are guaranteed to gasp, if not scream, before the hour is over. Make certain to watch this show tonight when it is telecast, so as not to risk hearing anything about it tomorrow morning and ruining your enjoyment of the episode.
Cast of The Sopranos
Free Ride (Fox, 9:30 p.m. ET)
Time Period Premiere. Fox' entry in the recent batch of semi-improvised situation comedies enjoyed a post-American Idol preview on March 1 and settles into its regular time period tonight. It's about a college graduate who returns to his small Midwest town, moves back in with his
oddball parents and then deals with the fact that he no longer fits in with family or friends. Josh Dean, Erin Cahill and Dave Sheridan star.
Big Love (HBO, 10 p.m. ET)
Series Premiere. HBO has given its most valuable time slot to this well-acted but curiously flat new drama about an overstressed businessman named Bill Henrickson, his three wives and their combined seven
children. In the opener, much time is devoted to Bill's problems in bed: He can't maintain an erection long enough to meet his wives' needs (perhaps due to over-exertion in that department). By the end he pops a Viagra, slides into bed and rises to the occasion, but his wife of the night just wants to sleep. In other words, this guy can't catch a break. As the hour proceeds, the women deal with their kids and the complex task of scheduling Bill's time so as to have equal access to
him while Bill copes with the demands of his expanding home improvement business. As if that isn't enough stress, he also realizes that one of his parents may be trying to kill the other. Throughout, it is difficult to comprehend why Bill (or anybody) would choose to live so overwhelming a lifestyle. Bill Paxton, Jeanne Tripplehorn, Chloe Sevigny and Ginnifer Goodwin are the stars, but Harry Dean Stanton and Grace Zabriskie (Twin Peaks) steal the show in supporting roles.
Cheerleader Nation (Lifetime, 10 p.m. ET)
Series Premiere. If you think cheerleader moms make stage mothers look like rank-amateurs when it comes to exploiting their children, then you might take fiendish delight in this new documentary-reality series
about the obscenely competitive sport of cheerleading. Cameras chronicle the madness at Dunbar High School in Lexington, Kentucky, as the girls on its cheerleading squad (and their parents, most of them moms, many of them awful) prepare to compete for their third straight national championship.
Campus Ladies (Oxygen, 10 p.m. ET)
Return. In the first of five new episodes of this wacky improvised sitcom, fortyish housewives and brand new college freshmen Joan (a widow) and Barri (a divorcee) continue catching up for lost time
and reliving the crazy college years they never enjoyed when they were young. Their merriment in the episodes to come includes smoking pot, continuing to explore new facets of their sexuality, attending a fraternity initiation and going wild on their first-ever spring break. Carrie Aizley and Christen
Sussin star. Watch for guest appearances in the weeks ahead by Fred Willard, Paul Reubens, Anthony Anderson, Will Forte, Jane Kaczmarek and Justin Long.
MONDAY, MARCH 13
The New Adventures of Old Christine (CBS, 8:30 p.m. ET and 9:30 p.m. ET)
Series Premiere. Two Episodes. Julia Louis-Dreyfus stars in a comedy about a middle-aged, divorced working mother
named Christine whose virile ex-husband lands a new young girlfriend, also named Christine. Unfortunately, it appears that the dreaded Seinfeld Curse has lost none of its power, because Christine is wholly average and unexciting. Undaunted, CBS tonight will do its best to defy the awesome
power of the Curse by running two episodes of Christine at 8:30 and 9:30 p.m. (The latter will be this series' regular time period in the weeks ahead, unless this show tanks tonight.)
24 (Fox, 9 p.m. ET)
The crisis at CTU continues, with Jack, Audrey, Kim, Chloe and Bill trapped like rats in an airtight office as nerve gas permeates the building, wiping out much of the staff. And there's poor Edgar, lying dead on the
floor, a chilling reminder for viewers that any character on this thrill-a-minute show can bite the dust at any time -- even a fan favorite, as Edgar certainly was.
Augusta, Gone (Lifetime, 9 p.m. ET)
Premiere. A distraught mother resorts to tough love after her teenage daughter deteriorates in a swirl of drugs and alcohol, shipping the kid off to a wilderness camp like the one made famous in ABC's
summer reality series Brat Camp. Based on the bestseller by Martha Tod Dudman. Sharon Lawrence, Tim Matheson and Mika Boorem star.
Late Show with David Letterman (CBS, 11:35 p.m. ET)
Howard Stern stops by David Letterman's talk show tonight -- presumably to continue his high profile ranting against CBS boss Les Moonves. CBS Radio is suing Stern, his agent and Sirius Satellite Radio, Inc. for a
reported $500 million claiming damages resulting from Stern publicizing his recent move to Sirius while still on-air at CBS-owned Infinity Broadcasting Co. -- in other words, according to CBS, "multiple breaches of contract, fraud, unjust enrichment, and misappropriation of CBS Radio's broadcast time." The always outspoken Stern can be a maniac under even the best of circumstances. Don't miss the fireworks!
TUESDAY, MARCH 14
American Idol (Fox, 8 p.m. ET)
Live. Two Hours. The top twelve would-be superstars perform in the first live Idol competition show of the season.
Birth Day Live! (Discovery Health Channel, 6 p.m. ET)
Live. Six Hours. Talk about timing: Discovery Health Channel's fourth-annual Birth Day Live! event begins at 6 p.m. and telecasts the coordinated labor, delivery and birth of babies in three different
hospitals (in Orlando, San Diego and Silver Spring, Maryland) during the following six hours. Jane Clayson, the former co-anchor of CBS' Early Show best remembered for interviewing Martha Stewart while the latter tore into a head of cabbage with a knife, is the host.
Nashville Star (USA Network, 10 p.m. ET)
Season Premiere. The second-best music competition series on television begins its fourth season tonight with a taped installment that introduces ten eager unknowns ready to compete for a recording contract with the RCA Label Group. Unlike American Idol, there is no upper age
limit for the contestants here (though the minimum age is 18). As of next week, the remaining seven installments of this show will be telecast live from the BellSouth Acuff Theatre in Nashville. Wynonna and Cowboy Troy are the hosts. Phil Vassar and music industry executive Anastasia
Brown (a.k.a. the female Simon Cowell) return as judges, and they'll be joined each week by a celebrity guest judge. To date, Nashville Star has launched the careers of three top-selling country artists: Buddy Jewell, Erika Jo and Miranda Lambert (and the latter wasn't even one of the winners).
The Shield (FX, 10 p.m. ET)
In the riveting build-up to next week's season finale, Vic strikes a deal with the deadly Antwon Mitchell to guarantee Lem's
safety in prison, but is forced to take the kind of drastic measures Vic is known for when the deal goes awry.
WEDNESDAY, MARCH 15
Veronica Mars (UPN, 9 p.m. ET)
Postponed from an earlier date. The town of Neptune has no shortage of creeps, that's for sure. In tonight's episode another one surfaces: A blackmailer who cracks a private online bulletin board visited by the town's
gay teens and threatens to out them all unless they hand over $5000 each. Among the victims: popular cheerleader Kylie, played by Kristin Cavallari of MTV's Laguna Beach.
The Loop (Fox, 9:30 p.m. ET)
Series Preview. Eager-to-please twenty-something Sam struggles to advance at his first serious job (working at the corporate headquarters of a major airline) while continuing to party like a rock star with his slacker brother and the two hot girls with whom they share an apartment. The young cast of
this show is not without a certain appeal, but The Loop only comes alive in scenes with Philip Baker Hall (Pasadena) as Sam's badgering boss. The Loop moves to its regular Thursday 8:30 p.m. time period tomorrow night. Bret Harrison, Eric Christian Olsen, Amanda Loncar, Sarah Mason and Mimi Rogers also star.
Black. White. (FX, 10 p.m. ET)
As FX' challenging, illuminating, fascinating documentary series about race relations continues, a dialect coach teaches the Sparks (a black family passing as Caucasian) how to talk "white" and the Wurgels (a white
family passing as African American) how to talk "black"; eighteen year old Rose Wurgel decides to reveal her true identity to the members of her poetry group; and fearful, fretful Carmen Wurgel uses a word that Renee Sparks doesn't appreciate, resulting in one of Renee's epic grudges. Also, Brian Sparks' jaw drops twice: First when Bruno Wurgel bizarrely asks a young white female bartender if she would ever consider marrying a black man, given that black men are
"notorious for not sticking around and taking care of their families," and later when Carmen refers to a member of Rose's poetry group as "a magnificent black creature."
Secret Quakes (National Geographic Channel, 10 p.m. ET)
Premiere. Here's something else to worry about: As detailed in this program, there are hidden fractures deep beneath the
earth's surface that could cause massive earthquakes capable of destroying some of the biggest cities in Europe. Apparently many of these fault lines have been active in the past.
THURSDAY, MARCH 16
American Inventor (ABC, 8 p.m. ET)
Series Premiere. Two Hours. American Idol judge Simon Cowell is among the executive producers of this new reality competition series about the search for a hot new product or device that will make its
creator wealthy. The series begins in Idol fashion with an expanded episode covering casting calls in several major cities across the country, which brought out thousands of inventors of all ages with their creations in hand. In the weeks ahead viewers will call in and vote to decide which invention will be mass-produced. The winning inventor will receive $1 million. Matt Gallant is the host.
Supernatural (The WB, 9 p.m. ET)
This episode is a repeat, but it's noted here because this is going to be the new time period for Supernatural throughout the rest of its run on The WB. (Presumably, this series, the only new hit this
season on The WB, will be included on the fall schedule of The CW.) There's nothing like throwing a hot show up against CSI to further increase awareness.
FRIDAY, MARCH 17
CMT Insider: Larry the Cable Guy (CMT, 8 p.m. ET)
Premiere. Katie Cook interviews
comedian Larry the Cable guy about his upbringing on a Nebraska pig farm and the creation of his on-stage persona.
Dr. Who (Sci Fi Channel, 9 p.m. ET)
U.S. Premiere. Two Hours. The super-cheesy low-budget British program from the '60s, '70s and '80s is updated in this big-budget thirteen episode series. Dr. Who fans will be happy to learn that this
is not a remake of the camp classic. Rather, it is a continuation of the ongoing Dr. Who storyline. (This Dr. Who is actually the ninth Dr. Who, but you don't need to know the backstory to enjoy the show.) The title character is a wise, mysterious time traveler -- the last of his alien race -- befriended by a shop girl from present-day London who joins him in his adventures. You'll see a lot of
funky things in the two hours scheduled tonight, including an attack by killer mannequins and the end of the Earth five billion years in the future. But nothing will prepare you for the April 7 episode, when aliens with flatulence issues crash land in the Thames and infiltrate London. Written and executive produced by Russell T. Davies (Queer as Folk). Christopher Eccleston and Billie Piper star.
Modern Men (The WB, 9:30 p.m. ET)
Series Premiere. Eric Lively, Max Greenfield and Josh Braaten star as three twenty-something friends who seek advice about women from a beautiful life coach. Doug (Lively) can't get over his ex-wife,
Kyle (Greenfield) avoids relationship issues by having sex with as many women as possible and clueless Tim (Braaten) keeps getting dumped. Jerry Bruckheimer is among the executive producers. Jane Seymour, Marla Sokoloff and George Wendt co-star.
Little Britain (BBC America, 9:40 p.m. ET)
Season Premiere. The unnaturally talented Matt Lucas and David Wailliams return for a third-season of lunacy, portraying almost all of the characters in this sketch comedy series. They include flamboyant
Welshman Dafydd, "the only gay in the village"; transvestites Emily and Florence; nasty diet guru Marjorie Dawes; and British Prime Minister Michael and his amorous assistant Sebastian.
John Edward Cross Country (WE, 10 p.m. ET)
Series Premiere. This documentary style series follows acclaimed psychic medium John Edwards as he travels around the
country conducting readings and visiting families he has helped by contacting deceased loved ones on his syndicated television series.
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