Our top moments of the week:
12. Worst Side-Stepping: Who says that Teri Hatcher is estranged from her Desperate Housewives co-stars? Certainly not Eva Longoria, who, during an appearance on Late Show with David Letterman, semi-convincingly reports, "We all get along." Dave isn't buying it, of course, and presses on. "Didn't one get fired?" he asks. (We think he means Nicollette Sheridan.) "Yes, I forgot about that one," Longoria responds. "She didn't get fired. ... She died on the show!" So that's what that pesky multi-million dollar lawsuit was all about!
11. T-Shirts Speak Louder Than Words Award: Seeing as it's The Voice finale, Christina Aguilera has to get in one last jab at her season-long victim, Tony Lucca. Christina criticizes Tony's song choice, Jay-Z's "99 Problems," for being "a little derogatory towards women." Tony's coach, Adam Levine, steps in to defend him, saying that the song refers to everything, not just women, and that it's a metaphor. Adam then calms the storm by telling Christina that he loves her and proves it by revealing that he's wearing a T-shirt that bears the words "Team X-Tina" in sparkly pink. You know what would be really Team X-Tina, Adam? No pants! Just sayin'!
10. Most Arresting Move: Just as Violet decides to fight for her relationship with Pete on Private Practice, he gets arrested! Pete, ever the hero, pulled the plug on a patient against his father's wishes but in accordance with those of the patient's partner. While it might be the morally right thing, in the eyes of the law, he just killed a man. And being sent to jail when Private Practice's future is up in the air is not a good thing!
9. Most Violent Show of Affection: Desperate Housewives fans are already well aware that Lynette is still in love with her estranged husband Tom, but the question is: Does he feel the same way? He gives a definitive answer when his boss — recently dumped by Lynette — won't stop trashing her at work. Tom finally gets him to shut up by clocking him square in the jaw and subsequently gets himself fired. At least now he's the one doing the punching instead of getting punched. Progress!
8. Worst Fake-Out: Ryan Seacrest brings his girlfriend Julianne Hough back to American idol — did he not learn to keep her away from Phillip Phillips yet? — but this time it's the audience he (tries to) surprise instead of his galpal. "There's a question I've been meaning to ask you and I don't want you to feel uncomfortable," Seacrest says as he reaches into his jacket pocket. "Will you give this note I wrote to Tom Cruise?" he asks Hough, who co-stars with Cruise in Rock of Ages. "Such a big fan; I loved him in Cocktail." We're not sure what's worse: pretending to propose to your girlfriend on live TV or admitting out loud that you like Cocktail.
7. Worst Hack Job: As Game of Thrones deaths go, Ser Rodrik's beheading is the least glorious and respectful. Not only does that traitor Theon — a young man Rodrik helped raise — handle the execution, but he isn't quite up to the task physically, requiring several sword chops and a foot on Rodrik's head to finally, ineptly part it from his neck. Sorry, Theon, but we're sure your truly iron-born sister Yarra would have accomplished it in one clean blow.
6. Most Winning Comeback: On The Amazing Race finale, Rachel and Dave paddleboard their way to an ostensibly easy win. And it is too easy: They had accidentally skipped a task and become the first team ever to arrive first at the finish line and have to turn around. It's a dubious honor that could've been even more ignominious had another team passed them for first place. Instead, they buckle down, complete the task and paddleboard back to officially win the $1 million — and make even more Race history: They now hold the record for most leg wins in a season with eight.
5. Nerdiest Wedding: When Bernadette decides she wants to tie the knot with Howard on The Big Bang Theory before he leaves on his space mission, the gang rallies to put together a rooftop wedding to coincide with a Google satellite's position over their apartment building. It goes off without a hitch, as all five pals, ordained on the Internet, preside over the ceremony and Google captures the heartfelt nuptials — pun intended: They are encircled by heart-shaped fabric on the roof. But then the heartbreak comes: Everyone watches on TV proudly and worryingly as Howard blasts off to go where no Big Bang-er has gone before. Safe travels, Wolowitz!
4. Best New Mystery: On the Season 3 finale of The Vampire Diaries, Elena knocks on death's door again, this time during a car accident reminiscent of the crash that killed her parents. As she urges Stefan to save Matt first, Elena falls unconscious underwater. But because Elena had previously been given vampire blood to recover from her head injury, she wakes up in the episode's final seconds, gasping for air. Could Elena really transition into a vampire in Season 4?
3. Best Breathtaking Moment: It's time for prom on Glee and Quinn will do anything to win prom queen, including use her recent disability to get votes — despite the hidden fact that she can walk again. When Quinn realizes that her title would be based on a lie, she and Santana conspire to change the vote in Rachel's favor to help get her out of her post-NYADA rejection funk. As Rachel and her prom king, Finn, dance, Quinn performs "Take My Breath Away" and, literally, takes everyone's breath away when she pulls herself up out of her wheelchair using the mic stand. You just had to steal Rachel's thunder a little with that move, didn't you, Fabray?
2. Hottest Yoga: There's playing footsy and then there's what Nina Dobrev did to Conan O'Brien. During her appearance on Conan, The Vampire Diaries star obliges the funnyman's request to show off her yoga skills. She uses him as a human wall while she bends down and flips her legs to his chest to do a scorpion pose. But it's her dismount that will forever be seared into Coco's and our memory, as her feet travel a wee bit south of the border. "Best job in the world!" he declares after taking a raucous victory lap around his desk.
1. It's About Time Award: It always takes a near-death experience to remind you what's important in life, right? After Beckett nearly plunges to her death on Castle, she sits in the rain and thinks about blowing up at Castle earlier for secretly investigating her mother's murder, before heading to his apartment. "What do you want?" he asks. "You," Beckett says, right before going in for a kiss that Caskett fans have waited four long years to see. They engage in a hot-and-heavy make-out sesh — complete with Castle caressing the bullet scar on Beckett's chest — before moving into the bedroom. And yes, they do get it on.
What were your top moments this week?
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