Dancing with the Stars: The Real Celebrity Rehab Gets D-Listers' Careers Back in the Swing

 

On the real “celebrity rehab,” the D-list stars aren’t addicted to drugs and booze—they’re high on the tango, cha-cha and paso doble. ABC’s top-rated Dancing with the Stars is proving to be the best kind of career rehab for singers, actors, radio and talk show hosts, and Broadway performers whose careers have stalled.

 

Would Marie Osmond be prepping a new talk show if she hadn’t pared off 40 pounds while pussyfooting around the dance floor on the show last season? For that matter, would her brother Donnie be co-hosting infotainment shows if he hadn’t attached himself to Marie’s sparkly hemline and inserted his smiley mug on each of her appearances on DWTS?

 

By fainting after a strenuous trot around the dancefloor, Marie actually revived her singing, hosting and whatever-else-ing career. Besides the talk show plans, she also landed a diet system commercial, pageant hosting job and a couple of TV specials with her doddering brothers.

 

Marlee Matlin owns an Oscar but as an over-40 actress who’d taken some time off to have four kids, she’d been reduced to Lifetime movies and guest gigs on crime shows before she signed on to DWTS.

 

Adam Carolla has been a radio star for years, but he’d been a bust on TV after a failed talk show, a blip-and-it-was-gone cable DIY series and the now-defunct puppet-prank show Crank Yankers on Comedy Central. Then he slimmed down and partnered with two-time DWTS winner Julianne Hough to dance. He lasted about six weeks on the show—the only contestant ever to incorporate a unicycle into a routine—but it was long enough to promote his first feature film, The Hammer (due out on DVD in June), and to snag a national Taco Bell campaign.

 

Marissa Jaret Winokur was known to Broadway fans for her Tony-winning role as Tracy Turnblad in the original cast of the musical Hairspray. But by making it to the top four on this season’s DWTS, she’s gotten her name in the headlines of the TV columns and probably reminded Broadway producers and sitcom creators of her considerable talent.

 

Christian de la Fuente, Mario, Jason Taylor, Shannon Elizabeth—all had their fans before DWTS. But they were niche performers. Now their names are known to a much wider audience. And if the surprisingly graceful Taylor, a player for the Miami Dolphins, follows fellow NFL star Emmitt Smith into the winners’ circle on DWTS, watch for him to be launch side careers that involve talk shows, commercials, fashion lines and maybe even movie roles.

 

Almost every star who does well on Dancing with the Stars sees a healthy boost in public profile. Jane Seymour and Priscilla Presley used their appearances to prove that being over 50 (or in Presley’s case, 60) can still be cougar-rific. Former supermodel Paulina Porizkova may have been voted out first on last season’s DWTS, but right after that she quickly landed a job as a panel judge at America’s Next Top Model.

 

Jerry Springer, arguably one of the least-liked daytime talk hosts in TV history, showed a sweetly sentimental vulnerability when he learned to dance for his daughter’s wedding—and used that to propel himself through many rounds of DWTS. In doing so, Springer waltzed into a whole new, much more likable, public persona.

 

Then there are the “stars” whose DWTS stints haven’t rehabbed their images as much as they probably would have liked: George Hamilton, Heather Mills, Wayne Newton, Penn Jillette, to name a few.

 

Now there are celebs champing at the bit to get their careers back in gear by lacing up some dancing shoes. Look for Marilu Henner and Paula Abdul to vie for the disco ball trophy next season. And if they really want to rehab their tarnished images, maybe Michael “Kramer” Richards, Danny Bonaduce and Star Jones should put a foxtrot in their futures.