Oh, Larry! Oh, Wendy! Can't TV Talk Be Better Than This?

Larry King, announcing the death of Dave Matthews band member LeRoi Moore, last week said the musician died “in a TV accident.”

Actually, it was an ATV accident, as in all-terrain vehicle. Good one, Lar. His CNN talker is a TV accident that continues to claim victims of its host's rattled mind and loose dentures night after night.

Wendy Williams, winding up her sixth week of “tryouts” of her daytime talk show, offered more witty pearls to ponder.

On Janet Jackson designing a lingerie line: “I don’t like it.”

On Cindy McCain’s denial of her half-sister: “Dot, dot, dot.”

On actress Kerry Washington, for no discernible reason: “I’ve always thought she was pretty but not so interesting.”

Williams is like that character Fred Armisen plays on SNL’s Weekend Update, the guy who comes on to rant about political topics but ends up just saying, “Wow!” and “That’s crazy!” instead of offering anything brilliant in the way of commentary.

After each non sequitur, Williams pauses for several long, uncomfortable moments, as if waiting for the Muse of Oprah to strike her with something substantive to say. The Muse ignores her. The Muse is busy trying to get Tyra to stop talking about herself.

The Wendy Williams Show, round one, had more dead air than Grant’s Tomb. And it will be back for national syndication in 2009. Next year’s TV accident waiting to happen.