Our top moments of the week:
13. Worst Flameout: After weeks of training at the academy, the time finally comes for Dawson to take the final firefighters test on Chicago Fire. Although she starts out strong, helping to untangle another trainee's hose, she trips and injures her ankle. She recovers to finish the test, but a few seconds over the time limit, so she fails. Better luck next time?
12. Best Deadly Offer: Tessa makes an interesting new group of friends (read: a cult) when she ditches class on Suburgatory. But while her musically inclined, all-white-wearing buddies seem innocent enough at first, Tessa starts to suspect something is horribly wrong when she tells the group's leader, Caris (played byParenthood's Mae Whitman), that she got in an argument with her best friend Lisa. "Would it help if we killed her?" Caris asks calmly. Reading Tessa's confused look, Caris clarifies: "If we murdered her, I mean." Suddenly, that rainstick doesn't look so harmless!
11. Best Copycat: New host! New set! Same gag? Late Night with Seth Meyers kicks off on a very familiar note for longtime fans of the 12:35/11:35c timeslot when Meyers sits at his desk and writes a thank-you note to Jimmy Fallon — the man who originated the "Thank-You Notes" segment. He thanks Fallon for leaving him Late Night, promising "to treat it with respect and dignity and to only use it to do completely original comedy pieces ... starting now." No, Seth. Thank you.
10. Best Sibling Rivalry: It turns out that Rollo is all bark and no bite — at least when it comes to his brother Ragnar. On the Vikings Season 2 premiere, Rollo has no problem raising his spear against his former friends, but at a do-or-die moment against his brother, he shockingly surrenders. Though Ragnar graciously spares his life, poor Rollo isn't exactly welcomed back with open arms. We can't really blame them for having an ax to grind. Rollo did literally stab them in the back -- and in some cases in the back and out the other side.
9. Worst Start: The Race is over before it begins for Bopper on Amazing Race All-Stars. The Season 20 alum withdraws at the starting line because of an inflamed pancreas to the shock of the rest of the teams. But he gives his blessing for his BFF Mark to go on the Race with a new partner, who turns out to be fellow Kentuckian and fan favorite Mallory, telling them to win the $1 million for him. No pressure, guys!
8. Best Diss: Everyone knows that before his stint onLaw & Order: Special Victims Unit, Ice-T was one of the biggest rappers of the early '90s -- which makes it all the more hilarious when Ice-T's character, Fin, arrests a comedian accused of rape. The funnyman turns to Fin and says, "Hey, Jay Z, will you grab my bag?" Oh no, he didn't!
7. Best Payback: We've seen Santana get all Lima Heights Adjacent on Glee before (see:Finn in Season 3 and Quinn in Season 4), but Rachel?! When Rachel finds out that Santana auditioned to be her understudy without telling her, she serves up a serious verbal lashing -- and then a literal one, slapping Santana. See, Santana, you're not better than Rachel at everything.
6. Worst Date: For The Bachelor's Andi, the fantasy-suite date is more of a nightmare. While no cameras were there to capture the events, Andi explains that Juan Pablo talked about himself all night long, never once getting to know her, and she couldn't get out of there fast enough. But it's when she tells this to Juan Pablo that things really heat up. When Juan Pablo's reaction lacks the emotion Andi is looking for, she grows frustrated, telling him to stop saying, "It's OK." Ultimately, Andi chooses to leave Juan Pablo — still clueless as to why she is so upset. Andi is so the next Bachelorette, right?
5. Worst Strategic Move(s): It's hard to pick the best moment from the cavalcade of blunders on the premiere of Survivor: Cagayan. Is it the Brains tribe's complete ineptitude when it comes to building their shelter, despite the fact that one team member is a nuclear engineer? Is it Garrett and Kass' inexplicable decision to adopt an "honesty is the best policy" approach and tell J'Tia that they're planning to vote her out at Tribal Council — twice? Or maybe it's J'Tia's retaliatory move to sabotage her teammates by pulling a Brandon Hantz and dumping out the group's entire supply of rice? All good options. But we have to go with the tribe's decision to keep J'Tia around even after the rice-dumping incident, and instead have Garrett be the one to snuff his torch. Garrett may have a big mouth, but at least he's not emotionally unstable! Better sleep with one eye open from now on, Brains tribe!
4. Best Secret: April is married — but not to Matthew! When Grey's Anatomy returns, we learn that after April ran off with Jackson, the two decided to secretly get married to make ruining Matthew's life seem worth it. But the secret won't stay that way for long now that a new rule will force them to disclose the truth. Get ready for the drama!
3. Worst Performance: NBC's documentary Nancy & Tonya revisits the 20-year-old Nancy Kerrigan- Tonya Harding scandal, but first establishes where the women are today. While Kerrigan is captured elegantly skating at her home rink, Harding is shown warbling a tone-deaf version of "Through the Eyes of Love," aka the theme from Ice Castles, in an empty biker bar as "Miss Tonya." It's surreal, startling and at first blush, unkind. But Harding does herself no favors, remaining as defiant and bitter as ever about her (lack of) involvement in the Whack Heard 'Round the World. Guess she's never gonna change her tune.
2. Worst Traumatic Experience: The Americans returns with a bang, and we're not talking about the murders of Philip and Elizabeth's spy friends. Paige busts into her parents' room in the middle of the night to find them in a very compromising position — think of the year that Neil Armstrong walked on the moon. "Why would you open a closed door?" Elizabeth asks her the next morning. Well, why wouldn't you lock the door, super-spies?
1. Best Performance: Note to selves: Never, ever challenge Paul Rudd to a lip-sync battle.Jimmy Fallon learns that the hard way onThe Tonight Show. Things start off pretty evenly with impressive renditions of Tina Turner's "You Better Be Good to Me" (Rudd) and Foreigner's "Jukebox Hero" (Fallon), but Rudd kicks things up a whole bunch of notches in Round 2. Covering Queen's "Don't Stop Me Now," the actor goes all out with a flawless, hilarious Freddie Mercury impression that's so awesome that Fallon throws in the towel. "I concede! I concede!" Fallon says, bowing down to Rudd. "The winner right there, Paul Rudd!"
What were your top moments?
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