Our top moments of the week:
12. Worst Fake Wife: Liz finally takes action on The Blacklist! We've seen Liz's so-called husband Tom outsmart her (and even sucker-punch her in the face!) but this time our favorite bewigged FBI profiler is onto his lying, sham-marriage ways. She first outmaneuvers his romantic re-proposal by throwing a party for them to renew their vows. Awkward! Then, when she confronts his brother Craig (who is also an impostor) Liz whips out her bada beat-down skills, which leaves the faux brother-in-law handcuffed to the bathroom sink.
11. Best Beats: The Library was open on Drag Race this week! When the queens were challenged to create an original '90s-style rap song, many fish floundered but Adore DeLano proves she rhymes as good as she reads. Even goddesses Eve and Trina (aka Da Baddest B----) recognize Adore's charisma, uniqueness, nerve and talent, helping secure the breakout star her first win. Adore DeLano, shantay, you stay!
10. Best Lost in Translation: C'est magnifique! Barry — excuse us, Big Tasty — goes French on us onThe Goldbergs when he raps to impress Erica's French pen pal Fanny. Problem is, Erica translated the lyrics into French for him, and we don't think he meant to say, "I pee-peed the bed." But at least we know "Tasty" in French is still "Tasty"?
9. Best Flip-Flopping: Scared that his law degree-less self will be outed on Suits, Mike accepts Jonathan's investment banker job offer, much to Harvey's fury. But after Harvey makes him finish one last case and take the win for it, Mike drops another bombshell. "Congratulate me. I'm officially a member of the New York bar," he tells Harvey and explains that Lola Jensen hacked into the bar database to add him. "I made a mistake. I want to stay."
8. Best Conscious Uncoupling: It's been a long time coming on Law & Order: SVU, but it's still a little heartbreaking to see Olivia's most successful romantic relationship — maybe only successful romantic relationship? — come to an end. When Liv discusses having a family and growing old together, Cassidy says he has something to tell Olivia. Uh-oh! That is never followed by good news. Just when Liv braces herself for some kind of horrible, heartbreaking confession of infidelity or the like, he tells her that he loves her. "I love you too, Brian. Always will," she replies tearfully before he kisses her goodbye on the forehead.
7. Best Ride: The Mindy Project returns from hiatus and picks up right where things left off — with Mindy and Danny furiously making out in the back of an airplane. The two move things into the closest (tiny) bathroom to take things to the next level, but things quickly go awry when Danny unhooks a fire alarm and Mindy temporarily falls out of the bathroom right before Danny accidentally flushes portions of Mindy's hair. Mile-High Club membership denied!
6. Best Poetic Justice: Who needs Girl Meets World when you haveSamuel L. Jackson to stoke your Boy Meets World nostalgia? The actor gamely, awesomely performs an epic slam poem on The Tonight Show, recapping the TGIF sitcom in perfect rhythmic beats that's not only hilarious and accurate, but poignant. "Boy meets world. Boy meets girl," he recites. "Boy meets wife. Boy meets life." The only thing that would've made this better is an interpretative dance by Topanga.
5. Worst Happily Ever After: Fairy tales don't always have happy endings. Emma learns that the hard way on Once Upon a Time when she finally reunites her first love Neal. Unfortunately, he was cursed long ago to die as the price to revive his father. When Rumple comes back to life, he temporarily keeps his son alive by sacrificing his dagger to the Wicked Witch, which allows him to take Neal's life force into his own body. Alas, their reunion is short-lived when Neal (finally, for real this time) dies after the two of them are forced to separate.
4. Worst Sex Games: There's roleplay and then there's spy roleplay. After hearing about what an aggressive lover Philip-as-Clark is in the sack from Clark's wife Martha on The Americans, Elizabeth wants to see for herself. What begins as gentle foreplay in a seedy motel room turns disturbing fast when she demands he unleash the "wild animal" Martha claims he is. Clark angrily flips Elizabeth onto her knees and has rough sex with her in a very uncomfortable place (and we're not talking about the back of a Volkswagen). In the end, Elizabeth is left in tears, and Philip has ripped off his Clark disguise. We're guessing they won't be bringing their wigs into the bedroom anymore.
3. Best "What If?": After finding a brief voicemail that Will left shortly before he died on The Good Wife, Alicia channels her grief by looking for his clues as to what he planned to say in the message. Unfortunately, she comes up empty, but just as Peter goes in to embrace her, her mind fills in the blanks with the best (or worst?) possible scenario. "Alicia, I'm sorry. I want what we had. I want to be with you. And only you. Forever. Call me back, please," her smiling imaginary Will says. And here we thought his death was the most crushing blow.
2. Worst Way Out: All roads may lead to Terminus, but that proves to not be a good thing on The Walking Dead's season finale. Upon his group's arrival, Rick quickly deduces that — like most people still alive this far into the zombie apocalypse — the generous and helpful people of Terminus may have an ulterior motive. Rick & Co. try to flee, but are herded like cattle throughout the little town and eventually into a train car, where they're reunited with the other
meals survivors. Guess what may be for dinner ?
1. Best and Worst Ending: And kids, that is How I Met Your Mother... and ended up with your Aunt Robin. Ted's meandering love story comes to a close with one final (predictable) twist. As many fans guessed, The Mother (real name: Tracy McConnell) dies in 2024 and Ted, at his kids' urging, woos Robin, now divorced from Barney, once again with a blue French horn after he's done telling his story. It's a polarizing ending, but no matter how you feel about it, let's appreciate the fact that Ted is done yearning for the future and recounting the past, and is instead finally living in the moment. Only College Ted has done that.
What were your top moments?
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