“Becoming Us” Continues TV’s Take on the Transgender Community

Those teens are Ben a 16yearold high school junior whose father Charley is now a transgender woman named Carly and Benamp8217s girlfriend Danielle Ben and Carly are pictured at top Interestingly Danielle is handling the same situation at home Her father Daniel is transitioning and still prefers to use his nameItamp8217s an interesting dual dynamic because Carly and Daniel are so very different Daniel seems a little more in touch with his daughteramp8217s feelings if somewhat tentative about his own Danielle says her father still considers himself amp8220a guyamp8221 He has been transitioning longer than Carly but has not yet reached the same level of selfassuranceCarly on the other hand seems to be all about confidence but who really knows If thatamp8217s the case more power to her That said she strikes me as trying to act or come off as somewhat younger than she is and she seems not to be as focused as she perhaps should be on her son I know that sounds judgy and I may be completely wrong I only know what I see on TV where real life is shot edited and packaged to meet specific creative demands Thatamp8217s what Lifetimeamp8217s terrific canamp8217t miss new drama amp8220UnREALamp8221 is all aboutHaving a parent in transition seems like a lot of pressure to put on a kid Benamp8217s age though it is probably not as much as Charley experienced in his young adulthood As I watched I could only wonder if high school is as unrelenting in its daily challenges today as it was when I was a teenager I know of two schools of thought on that subject but this column isnamp8217t about the amp8220typicalamp8221 high school experience The focus here is on the atypical lives of Ben and Danielle who is as impressive as Ben in her mature response to the changes her own dad is going throughOne of the most distinctive and refreshing qualities of this show is that as comparatively cool and chill as Ben is with it all he isnamp8217t above making certain strong statements about the curveball life has thrown at him amp8220I thought I knew exactly where my life was headed amp8230 until she came along and everything got turned upside downamp8221 Ben in narration says of Carly amp8220I know sheamp8217s going to be around for a while so Iamp8217ve got to do whatever I can to figure this out so we can just understand each otheramp8221Ben hits the wall in his own quiet way toward the end of the first episode when Carly sits him down to tell him that she is going to have gender reassignment surgery amp8220My boy parts are going to become girl partsamp8221 she saysThis news is difficult for Ben to process amp8220Itamp8217s kind of official that my dad is goneamp8221 he tells Carly admitting that he feels anger amp8220The person that made me will not have the thing that made meamp8221Most reality programming feels fake and as we know some of it is totally false again donamp8217t miss amp8220UnREALamp8221 I have no idea where amp8220Becoming Usamp8221 sits in the realism spectrum of reality television but Benamp8217s comment struck me as exactly the kind of thing a 16yearold boy might say when hearing such news from one of his parents Heamp8217s thrown for a loopLater amp8211 after blowing off some steam by screaming his lungs out on top of a skyscraper amp8211 Ben ruminates amp8220I love my mom Dad Dadmom But it doesnamp8217t mean that I understand what sheamp8217s doingamp8221After that he sums up his situation with that casual brilliance teens sometimes exhibit the likes of which generally surprise everyone including themselves amp8220Who knew my dad would become a woman at the same time I was becoming a manamp8221 he wondersBen and his very understanding mom Suzie live in a seemingly modest home in Evanston Illinois a suburb of Chicago which brings up another important point amp8211 they donamp8217t appear to be wealthy With all the media attention currently commanded by the reallife story of superrich Caitlyn Jenner I have yet to hear much if anything about the financial challenges that can compromise or prevent a full transitionIamp8217m acquainted with a young man Iamp8217ll call him Jake who lives with his parents and brother in a workingclass Connecticut suburb and has been transitioning for several years His courage openness and resourcefulness has been nothing less than inspirational His is a typical family in many respects challenged in recent years by our problematic economy and doing their best to make ends meet just like tens of millions of families around the countrySignificantly the two people who have had the most difficulty dealing with Jakeamp8217s transition are his parents To their credit they never rejected their teenage daughter amp8211 Iamp8217ll call her Jane amp8211 when she came to them and told them of her decision to become the person Jake now is They are still uncomfortable with it They arenamp8217t all the way there yet But they will beI think what has surprised Jakeamp8217s parents most about the entire experience so far was the immediate acceptance of their childamp8217s transition by family friends and everyone else in their lives Iamp8217ve not heard of any negative responses from anyone when they learned about Jake Rather one of his greatest obstacles in all of this has been financial His transition has been a slow process one that continues to this day because of the time it is taking to earn the money required for medication therapies surgeries etcIn that respect I am certain Jake cannot fully relate to Caitlyn Jenner for whom toplevel care has been no object Read my take on Caitlyn39s instant stardom here I donamp8217t know if Jake will be able to identify with Carly or Daniel either though their incomes appear to be much closer to something resembling normalcy than anyone we have ever met on any of the Kardashian programs Like most things involving medical care and treatment these days the transgender process must be a whole lot easier when money isnamp8217t an issue especially with the skyrocketing costs of actual health care of every kind on every levelI hope Caitlyn and her family every member of which has financial resources few of us can imagine will find ways to speak out on this subject and generate support for those individuals and families that are dealing with these same identity issues but do not have the money necessary to act on them Even for working class people with insurance a simple blood test can throw a monthly household budget into freefall I canamp8217t imagine how difficult it must be for working and middle class individuals to handle the financial demands associated with transitioningThat may be the next aspect of this very timely topic that a smart television series will dare to exploreThe opinions and points of view expressed in this commentary are exclusively the views of the author and do not necessarily represent the views of MediaVillage management or associated bloggersamp160

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“Becoming Us” Continues TV’s Take on the Transgender Community

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Ed Martin

Jon Miller | Cofounder Marketo, Engagio | The Gumball Machine is Broken - Rethinking B2B Marketing - By Mike Linton

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“Becoming Us” Continues TV’s Take on the Transgender Community

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Jon Miller | Cofounder Marketo, Engagio | The Gumball Machine is Broken - Rethinking B2B Marketing - By Mike Linton

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