Carving Out the Time to Be an Effective Leader

Once I asked a typically overworked manager what prevented him from finding the time to demonstrate the leadership that he knew was necessary for his people I really appreciated his answer He did not say that his time was spent saddling up his white horse and rushing off to save the day dealing with perplexing challenges that were much too big for others Rather he said most of his day was spent rectifying the mistakes he had made the previous day He was of course exaggerating but also very serious in his reflectionThe truth of the matter is we all make mistakes However what I have discovered is that frequently mistakes are not about monumental strategic decisions that went awry Instead they39re more about interactions with people that leave us dissatisfied or regretful We lost our cool and became overly aggressive if not somewhat hostile during a disagreement We became distracted during an important conversation and tuned out the other person We postponed again a development opportunity discussion which was genuinely important to someone else We grew impatient with the lack of progress on a project and did not take time to listen to the underlying causes You probably get the pictureKeep in mind that these examples are just the ones we are aware of How many other miscues might we have made that did not even register with us but did with othersI encourage you to take some time to reflect on the way you typically interact with those around you Thoughtfully assess the impact you are having on your team Are you leaving them better off or more confused frustrated or feeling judged Are you fully present for them or only listening with half an ear If you could have a quotdooverquot for one of these circumstances which would it beRemember that you demonstrate leadership one conversation one interaction at a time You must be committed to making each one as positive and productive as possible Reflect on situations that did not go so well Pinpoint what caused them to go off the rails And identify what you will try to do differently the next time aroundHere is one hint that you might find helpful in reducing some of those easytomake relationship mistakes How different might it be if you approached every conversation or interaction by asking yourself quotWhat can I do in this moment to make others feel more powerful competent and able to do more than they think they canquotThink about that question for a moment If you did this might it reduce the reflex to lash out when others are being stubborn or disrespectful Might it remind you to set aside the items on your own personal agenda and remain focused on the other person39s growth development and success Might it make you think of yourself more as a leader not just a boss or coworkerAs you reflect on your answers also consider this If your boss approached every interaction with you in this fashion would that not be a good thingIn case you are wondering whether it requires a great deal of time to ponder this question the answer is quotnoquot It mostly serves to put you in a leadership frame of mind to remind you to be fully present in your role as someone who develops others A detailed written action plan for each engagement is not requiredLeaders must work with all kinds of people including those who are in some way difficult perhaps even frustrating on occasions That is part of the territory If you simply blame the poor outcome of an interaction on the other person or don39t care enough to make it better don39t expect those relationships to improveGoing forward try to make each interaction as good as it can be Being human you will still make daily mistakes But over the long haul people will view you more as an ally they need rather than another reason why they are not thrilled to come to work And who knows It might even reduce the time you once needed for damage control providing you with a bit more time to lead proactivelySteve Coats is managing partner of International Leadership Associates a development education and consulting firm He can be reached at stevecileadcomClick the social buttons to share this story with colleagues and friendsThe opinions expressed here are the author39s views and do not necessarily represent the views of MediaVillagecomMyersBizNet

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Carving Out the Time to Be an Effective Leader

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Carving Out the Time to Be an Effective Leader

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