Why, Rhoda? Why? Why did you do it?
Why did you let them ruin your beautiful TV show that had so much potential?
You were so wonderful with your best friend Mary Richards for four years in Minneapolis. But when you visited New York in the Fall of 1974, things went screwy.
Something wasn't right. I mean, you lost weight and everything, and you looked real hot. Your Mom was there, which was nice (maybe for us, if not for you). Although she was still doing housework for Commissioner McMillan way over in San Francisco it was cool she found time to visit you at least on a semi-regular basis. And she was still married to your Dad, who didn't leave yet leave her for golden girl Rose Nylon. We also saw that you had a pretty hip sister, who was also pretty funny with a pretty unique voice (that went on to make her a bazillion dollars when she sold it to The Simpsons).
But then you met that guy Joe.
He's the one who really messed everything up.
Don't get me wrong. All your friends were happy that you found someone true to love. It's just that you moved so fast. You made the formal move to New York, and decided to marry Joe even before the half-season mark.
Was that really necessary?
It was all down hill from there.
Without sounding like Joe himself, "What was the rush, Babe?"
Why couldn't you have been more like that girl Ann Marie, when she moved to the Big Apple? She met and fell in love with a sincere boyfriend, too.
That guy Don Hollinger.
But Ann and Don didn't even get engaged until their last season on the air. Oh, sure, they probably also didn't even French kiss for five years, but they made the best of it. At least for a while…before Don couldn't take it anymore, and left Ann for your friend Mary a few years after you moved to New York.
Either way, they took it slow.
Why couldn't at least have done that with Joe?
Did you have to marry the guy, like, immediately - only to realize a year or so later that you made a really big mistake?
You should have talked it all over with us beforehand.
We would have set you straight.
Instead, you ended up with what turned out to be a pretty dull guy and, subsequently, a horrible divorce.
Was that supposed to make everything better?
It made things worse.
By the time you divorced Joe, it was just too late. Nothing could be salvaged. Your life was a shambles.
But not the happy shambles it used to be with Mary in Minneapolis. This time it was a real shambles. You went down, and took your audience with you.
If there was only some way you could have done things differently.
That is to say, you definitely deserved your own show.
That was never in question.
But you also deserved more than what was shown.
Herbie J Pilato is a Writer/Producer who has worked for Syfy, A&E, TLC, Bravo, The Discovery Channel, Universal, Warner Bros. and Sony. Herbie J is the author of a number of acclaimed TV tie-in books (The Bionic Book, Life Story - The Book of Life Goes On, The Bewitched Book, Bewitched Forever, The Kung Fu Book of Caine, The Kung Fu Book of Wisdom, and NBC & ME: My Life As A Page In A Book). In 2010, Herbie J founded The Classic TV Preservation Society (a nonprofit organization dedicated to closing the gap between positive TV shows and education), and presently serves as Creative Director for Erie Street Entertainment (a TV production company that is geared toward sci-fi/fantasy, and family-oriented material). For more information, please log on to www.ClassicTVPS.blogspot.com or www.ErieStreetEntertainment.blogspot.com, or contact Herbie J directly via firstname.lastname@example.org.
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