A Cautionary Christmas Metaphor

With Christmas approaching the widow sent her son to the market to buy their Christmas bird quotI want the biggest the fattest bird you can find But donamp8217t pay too much for it Mr and Mrs Pool over the field make sure I know what things costquotThe son set off He had in mind buying a beautiful bird just big enough to feed the two of them over several meals He had heard talk of a turkey but surely that would be too big And anyway how would he get it homeWhen he got to the market there was so much on offer There were beautiful pheasants plump chickens even the odd goose And there were turkeys masses and masses of turkeysThe son remembered his motheramp8217s words the biggest the fattest and donamp8217t overpay He wasnamp8217t quite sure what that last bit meant but it was a worry What if he inadvertently paid too muchMaybe he should get a freerange organic chicken Quite big enough guaranteed to be tasty affordable but nothing like as big as the turkeysThe son was mulling over what to do when he saw a stall selling live birds The birds were nowhere to be seen he presumed they were round the back away from the crowds to stop them running awayBut one was out front sitting there quite calmly with his face in a book It was huge bigger than any bird he had ever seen before And then it spoke to himquotYou looking for a turkey matequotThe son thought this was unusual but not knowing too much about turkeys he thought he ought to be politequotYesquot said the son quotFor me and my mother We want the biggest fattest bird I can find And be aware that I know very well what things costquotquotOf coursequot said the turkey quotIamp8217ll take whatever you39ve got and Iamp8217ll even give you something back for your trouble After all you39ll need to get me home and you39ll need to learn how to cook me won39t youquotAt this stage the son started to feel a little anxious Admittedly he didn39t know much about turkeys but he was pretty sure they didn39t talk or indeed read Didn39t they just go quotGobble gobblequotHe was also fairly certain they didn39t have four legsquotHow come you can talk and it seems read And how come you39ve not even said 39Gobble gobble39 Isn39t that what turkeys do And whilst I39m at it what39s with the four legsquotquotYou39re a smart ladquot said the turkey quotYou don39t miss much I39m an educated turkey I39ve gone out of my way to better myself Yes I can do the goggle goggle bit amp8211 but that39s for the tourists not for smart customers like youquotThe book is my escapequot he continued quotIf you lived with the idiots I live with you would do anything to get away even if only in my imaginationquotAnd as for the legs I39ve evolved I39ve had to after all how else are customers going to get me homequotquotFair enoughquot said the son quotBut hang on what39s this goggle goggle I have never met a turkey before but all the ones I39ve read about say 39gobble gobble39quotquotWellquot said the turkey quotmaybe in learning a new language my natural diction has slipped a little I have to admit I rarely have any call to speak turkey Like I say I live with idiotsquotquotLet me get this clearquot said the son quotYou39ll accept the little money I have you39ll walk home with me you39ll give me some of my money back and you won39t tell my mother or she39ll have that off me in a flash you39ll tell me how to cook you and you39ll taste deliciousquotquotThat39s itquot said the turkeyAnd so they set off The son feeling pleased with himself the turkey goggling away under his breathThey got homeThe son rushed in to tell his mother the good news quotYou39ve done well son Let me take a look at this beautiful bird and let39s get it into the ovenquotThe son took off his coatSo did the wolfAllegorical fairy stories involving widowed mothers naamp239ve sons and animals in disguise rarely end well and this one is no exceptionHappy ChristmasThe Cog Blog will be back in the New YearClick the social buttons above or below to share this content with your friends and colleaguesThe opinions and points of view expressed in this content are exclusively the views of the author andor subjects and do not necessarily represent the views of MediaVillagecomMyersBizNet Inc management or associated writersamp160amp160

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A Cautionary Christmas Metaphor

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Brian Jacobs

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